When you can’t relax
cubiclebuddha
•May 1, 2024
(Source/Credits: https://dev.to/cubiclebuddha/when-you-can-t-relax-nld)
So the weekend is over, and you don’t feel relaxed. What happened? Maybe you even “stayed home and di...
title: When you can’t relax published: true tags: motivation, productivity, webdev, agile cover_image: https://i1.wp.com/cubiclebuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/fox-1284512_960_720.jpg?zoom=2&resize=375%2C232&ssl=1 canonical_url: https://cubiclebuddha.com/when-you-cant-relax/
So the weekend is over, and you don’t feel relaxed. What happened? Maybe you even “stayed home and did nothing,” and yet you didn’t really replenish your energy. Well, today I’ll share a little guidance that will hopefully give you a booster shot to help you truly rest the next time you get a chance.
It turns out that Thich Nhat Hanh describes this exact scenario of resting but not really resting:
Calming allows us to rest, and resting is a precondition for healing. When animals in the forest get wounded, they find a place to lie down, and they rest completely for many days. They don’t think about food or anything else. They just rest, and they get the healing they need. When we humans get sick, we just worry! We look for doctors and medicine, but we don’t stop. Even when we go to the beach or the mountains for a vacation, we don’t rest, and we come back more tired than before. We have to learn to rest.
Did you notice that part about all animals needing to rest? You need to rest too. You need to replenish your mental energy from many hard days of work.
So how do we learn how to rest?
There are many ways to learn to disconnect, but most mindfulness practitioners point to breathing techniques. I had to employ it myself last night when I couldn’t get to sleep. [Click here for our article on breathing techniques and their values.](https://dev.to/cubiclebuddha/mindfully-breathing-to-prepare-for-a-big-meeting-
{% link https://dev.to/cubiclebuddha/mindfully-breathing-to-prepare-for-a-big-meeting-19im %}
Hey, is this article over already?
Yes, it is. Sorry, but I needed a rest this weekend too. So I gave myself a break. I used the time that I would normally be researching psychology studies and combing through Buddhist text to instead doing nothing but stare out my window.
What can you “slack on” to make time for rest?
So that’s my challenge for you. Is there one thing in your life that you can give up or put down for five minutes? Try installing a screen time app on your phone to see where you’re spending your time. Then you can audit the results and say, “hmm, maybe I don’t need to spend 4 hours on facebook.” All you need to do is carve out 5 minutes to doing nothing.
{% link https://dev.to/cubiclebuddha/doing-nothing-the-cure-for-procrastination-47ik %}
And if you’re finding it difficult to really enjoy the calm and quiet, you need a positive voice in your head. When your brain is telling you that “you shouldn’t be resting” please try to insert my voice saying “you deserve it.” Because you really do.
Comments section
rick_dh
•May 1, 2024
I believe that implementing this method comes down to the mindset of there will always be tomorrow.
Today is not the last day that we are going to work or live. This allows us to stop trying to squeeze productivity and results out of every minute of the day, and gives us ease of mind.
cubiclebuddha Author
•May 1, 2024
Yes indeed! Although sometimes it takes practice to be able to disconnect. It sounds like you're already well-practiced in recognizing that "there will always be tomorrow," but even seasoned devs need a booster-shot of that sometimes. Although I was struggling to take my own advice last weekend, this article seemed to have helped people in the past:
Cubicle Buddha ・ Apr 9 ・ 6 min read
productivity
motivation
agile
career](/cubiclebuddha/go-home-4-techniques-that-help-you-to-leave-work-at-work-42h0)
yulivee
•May 1, 2024
Nice Article!
Yesterday I was reasoning to my self wether it is a major life skill to know how to relax yourself, so your article very much resonated with me. If life gets tough, I know several activities I can do to calm myself down, life having a bath, meeting special friends, going to my local makerspace. My boyfriend is currently doing his masters thesis and often on the brink to burnout because he cannot disconnet from his work and it haunts him. So we try to figure out some relaxing activities.
This is one of those topics that seem trivial, but actually are key to your mental wellbeing.
cubiclebuddha Author
•May 1, 2024
Thank you for the compliment and for the thoughtful response. Yes, I couldn’t agree more that resting is a life skill. As many people say, “happiness takes work.” And I’m glad that you’re putting in the work. :) Btw, these are great suggestions for our readers:
cecilelebleu
•May 1, 2024
I took 3 naps yesterday because I simply couldn’t focus. I normally would have had a cup of coffee instead of a nap, but I’m limiting my coffee intake (to zero) to lower body stress. I guess my body was asking for some time off, not for caffeine.
I try to get one day off a week, but as I work for myself I usually can’t distinguish a Sunday from a Wednesday. There’s just so much I want to get done!
deciduously
•May 1, 2024
It took me years to get through my head that caffeine isn't a viable replacement for adequate sleep. You can't keep postponing rest indefinitely, it will always catch up.
cubiclebuddha Author
•May 1, 2024
Wow yea that sounds challenging. I find that “work life separation” is so much more important than “work life balance.” So how do you set boundaries between work and life?
sebbdk
•May 1, 2024
Sometimes getting into that restful' state takes some time to request' unassisted.
Mindfulness and breathing exercises are definitely underrated tools in my experience.
They can get you to that restful state much quicker if used correctly. :)
cubiclebuddha Author
•May 1, 2024
Thanks! Yea it really helps. I was actually freaking out this morning about concern for fast cars in my neighborhood hurting my family and I found myself unable t breath or focus... then I remembered the words (paraphrasing) of Thich Nhat Hanh:
And it helped me to stop worrying about future dangers that I really can fix anyway (without building a speed bump and having the township fine me! Haha).